Seraph Chronicles

Life explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said:’Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’ The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’ So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: ‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.’ The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: ‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’sfamily.
For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’
The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:’Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.’
But man said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’
‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and ; enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun for our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to
entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the
front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

RENT FOR APARTMENT

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment ‘RENT FOR APARTMENT.’

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

‘Dear Madam:

Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:

#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.

However, I found out that

#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn’t any heat, and
#3 - it was too large.’

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:

Dear Sir:

#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.

Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to
contact your present landlady.

2008 Day 43: Bubble bug

Saw this bug on a leaf nearby the goat farm, it’s a weird looking bug, at first glance it looks like a lady bug, but if you look closely, it’s not, and the body seems to be encased in a water droplet of some kind. Anyone who happens to know what this bug is do let me know.

Tip: Try looking to the smaller world around us, there’s a whole new world filled with interesting creatures and plant life which we so often miss.

2008 Day 42: Bird of pride

A proud rooster strolls along his roost in the morning.

Tip: Patience, timing, luck and a telephoto lens are important for capturing animal portraits.

2008 Day 41: Goats in line

Goats lining up for their meal while the workers milk them. It would appear that they are aware of my presence and are posing for the camera too!

Tip: Shooting at an angle gave this composition depth, from the first goat on the right to the last on the left.

2008 Day 40: Peek-a-Boo!

A goat hiding behind it’s enclosure, I framed its eyes in between the opening to make it look like it’s peeking out.

Tip: Use enclosures to your advantage by framing parts of the subject behind the enclosure, using it as a frame.

Mr. Potato ad - starring Kennysia!!

I’m sure anyone who has read Kennysia’s blog would know that he was involved with the filming of Mr. Potato’s latest TV commercial over at our neighboring country Thailand! Well here is the commercial, and it sure is funny. Have a watch and laugh your hearts out!

2008 Day 39: Horny bill

A Malaysian Hornbill, taken at the KL Bird Park last year, the bright yellow bill makes this bird a one of a kind attraction in Malaysia. Although the color of the bird is bright and stands out well, I would have preferred if the background was a bit less busy.

Tip: Take the background of your compositions into consideration, distracting backgrounds will only deter attention from your main subject, making the entire image lose punch.

2008 Day 38: Starry starry lantern

A stall selling various lanterns at Autocity Penang in conjunction with the 2007 Lantern Festival. I like the depth of field created by the layers of hanging lanterns as well as the varied colors of the lanterns.

Tip: Always look out for depth of field for your compositions to make them more interesting.

2008 Day 37: Two headed tree

An interesting tree which branches straight up into two primary branches, which gives it a feeling of having two heads.

Tip: You can choose to just shoot the tree or wait for people to walk into the frame to give the composition more life. I have both.